Beautiful One,
I am torn –
Last Christmas provided me with the opportunity to realize that I still have attachment issues. I had become used to hearing you, feeling you, connecting with you almost daily, and when what had become practice got switched up, I became anxious and restless.
I respect your situation. I have so much admiration for the qualities I have come to know you for – the value that you place on your family and your sense of responsibility to them. I do not want to be party to dishonouring that. From the start I was very uncomfortable with my decision and later with my actions. I have no regrets though, but I have to acknowledge the discomfort. I must acknowledge the thoughts that continually occupy my mind and the yearnings that haunt my heart.
I will continue to respect your commitments and remind myself often to stay committed to mine. I truly value your friendship and I will continue to love you, but I think you will agree that I have some work to do. I must detach. I need to fully accept where you are in your life and cherish this experience that we have had. In order to do this, I need to get really focused about defining, charting and grounding myself to my current reality.
And so, I need to dial back – to step back a bit.
As you have reminded me, no one knows what lies down the road, so I will just flow, and allow the Universe to guide me to where I am meant to go. Let me hasten to say that I expect no fairy-tale ending here, but I do expect to receive what it is I have come to understand that I am deserving of.
You have made me believe that its possible, that it does exist, and for that I thank you
I now accept and understand that I do not have to be afraid to love, that there are in fact other souls out there that are capable of meeting me at the depth of being that I crave. I do not have to and will not settle for less.
Thank you My Beautiful One.